Today is a reason for a little celebration! Really! First, we have an addition to our Die Hard rip off section, and we all agree it was long overdue. Well, the wait is over!

Second, it has Dolph Lundgren in it as a main hero and I love the guy, even in his worst acting roles, there should be no doubt about that. Although it’s more than evident that he just goes with the role and you can tell he’s not really interesting in the movie. He’s probably in the mood of “It’s just a movie…it’s just a movie” to get it done and get paid.

Third, it has Jim Wynorski as a director (although not credited) along with Damian Lee (who’s in on-screen credits) and you should know that’s some serious exploitation work right here!

I have contacted Mr. Wynorski for the comment on this and this is what the man himself wrote: “I probably directed a third to half of it after Damien Lee fucked the whole picture up. I came in and re-wrote and re-shot most all the action scenes. Added new characters and deleted others. Lee was in way over his head and failed to deliver a playable picture.”

Now, let’s be honest, Agent Red is not something you would brag about in your acting career (looking at you, Dolph) or a movie you would want to serve as an introduction to above mentioned guys’ work. Because they have done better, much better. But man’s gotta do what he’s gotta do, and we all have bills to pay. So shut it, will you?

On the other hand, if you revel in how some movies can be bad, you’re snatching that movie straight away!! There is indeed a beauty in the eye of the beholder, and there is also a pleasure of watching bad movies.

So, with this as an introduction, let’s immerse ourselves into the story…and it goes like this…

Dolph as usual

Dolph Lundgren plays Cpt. Matt Hendricks, a Marine, who is tasked with the transportation of deadly Agent Red virus from Russia to the USA. In the submarine. Apparently it was developed by the USA, then Russians have stole it but due to security concern they want to return it. And because it’s always better to transport it than destroy it, we have this movie. Yay!

Meilani Paul and her assets.

And because it could be a boring travel, he is accompanied by Lt. Dr. Linda Christian (Meilani Paul), who is a biologist or some virologist, and – most importantly – our hero’s ex-fiancee and God help me, with her visage and assets, is she in a wrong movie! But she tries hard, that’s for sure.

But what action movie can be without any villains? For this we have terrorists on hand (or, on board) with their master plan how to handle the global politics or – in this case – the WMD disarmament process. These are led by Dr. Kretz (Alexander Kuznetsov) and his lover Nadia (Natalie Radford). Add to it a bunch of mainly TV actors and you have a complete picture.

Obviously, you know the plot by now. It has more holes than a Swiss cheese (but I guess no one seriously watches these movies for realistic situations and plots) and it successfully rips off Die Hard rip off, down to our radio communication between Hendricks and Kretz. Only it’s not as funny as the one John McClane had with Hans Gruber, but don’t be greedy! You can’t have everything, ok?

The low budget production is evident, the interior of the sub is substituted by some out of production plant (and I think it might be the same plant later used in Black Water, starring Dolph and Jean Claude Van Damme), but the best thing is the clever use of stock footage and the scene from Storm Catcher in the beginning. I don’t think I would spot it being some 17-years old action movie fan I was some 25 years ago, but in all seriousness, I admire stuff like that just for the sheer audacity. Producers and directors definitely have balls to pull stuff like that and my hat’s off to them. That’s how you do low budget, straight-to-video movie.

Meilani Paul once again. Just because.

The question is – would I recommend it for you? It really depends. If you are a Dolph Lundgren fan, then I don’t need to tell you anything, you’re gonna watch that. If you’re a trash cinema/bad movies connosieur, then you need to see that. And obviously, Jim Wynorski’s fans will want to see that flick too. Unfortunately, beyond those groups, there will be probably nobody else spending time with this movie. Or there might be, but I don’t think they will be satisfied.